Vantas Noir
by cautionaryAntagonist
Summary: After the death of a close friend, Karkat has to figure out just what the holy hell is happening around here. A radical racist agenda, the decaying economy, and a rivalry with the competent Eridan Ampora who knows more than he's leading on. If you like EriKat or just want to stick around for the 1920s styled adventure, you had come to the right place.
1. chapter 1

Au: Detective/Crime stuck (also humanstuck)

Pairing: EriKat (flips from black to red)

 **Chapter one (Karkat POV)**

 **August 8, 1925.** I arrived at the Train Station, where the ceilings curved like arches and the walls seemed to illuminate somewhat from the golden color painted onto it. It sort of reminded me of ancient Greek buildings; only there was a lack of naked humanoids and an abundance of women waiting just outside the entrance. Those women in particular...well to put it bluntly, it wasn't the best idea to talk to them in broad daylight. I was surprised to see those Dumb Doras(1) out there so early at all. It was only 7:00 am and I doubt anyone was that desperate. If I were them I would wait until the cops were off duty to do anything risky like that.

It was none of my fucking business anyway. I had more important things to worry about, such as catching the Red Express. The train wasn't going to leave until 7:30, so there was still time to burn. I scanned the area around me until I spotted the perfect bench to sit my ass upon. What the hell was I doing up so early at the station anyhow? Nothing too exciting, actually. I was only there to visit family during the only week-long break I had to spend. I could have easily just driven there myself, but something about a relaxing train ride with a cup of coffee and the morning paper seemed pretty to me at the time. At least, that was the romanticized version. In reality, every single train trip I have ever gone through involved some dewdroppers(2) sneaking in to cause a scene or the entire trip being spent listening to some dumb idiot rant about the stock market.

Nevertheless, I waited for the train to arrive. I couldn't help but watch the busy people run by. I never onced cared about what other people were doing with their lives unless their actions were questionable in my eyes. These people looked legitimately normal thought. Most of them, anyway. There was one fellow in particular that caught my eye. A tall man, seemingly of Finnish descent, with thick glasses and curly dark hair. His snobbish appearance was nothing new to me, yet something about him felt off. You could tell by his fair skin that he was well taken care of. He wasn't too far nor too skinny. His outfit was very flashy with a plethora of shiny buttons and unnecessary trinkets all over his coat. His robe, estimated to be about 5 feet long, had it's inside made from real jaguar fur while the outside was a more take black fabric laced over it. I guess it was just another way for him to flash his wealth in everyone's faces. He held a heavy-looking black suitcase with a number of different locks attached to it. The man's eyes were a cold blue shade which was constantly shifting around. It was if he was afraid he was being watched. There was no way to tell for sure though.

The bluenose(3) stepped towards the train's entrance as it slowed to a halt. He hesitated at first, then began to enter the silver train, into what could be the first-class section. Typical. Behind him dragged his robe. A group of people began to rush towards the train. Right before the man had fully entered the vehicle, several other people stepped on his obnoxiously long cape, causing him to startle and trip onto the floor.

That definitely made my day. Just seeing that snob facedown on the dusty train floor from the tragedy of his own accessories was enough to make me burst out laughing like a shit faced hyena.

"EY FELLA! YOU NEED SOME HELP OVER THERE OR DO YOU PLAN ON STAYING LONG?" I shouted across the station, drawing attention to the situation.

Some others begin to join in on the laughing. Mine just so happen to be the loudest. By the time the passengers were all packed into the silver train, it rode off and the fun stopped. It was back to boring adult life for me and everyone else.

I checked my watch: 7:25.

The Red Express was meant to arrive in less than 5 minutes. I picked all my shit up and made my way to the front, when I noticed the suitcase from before was still there. It seemed like the snobby man being tripped cause the suitcase to fly out of his hand and onto the sidewalk. Why would this guy need so many locks for this one case? Should I drop it off to lost and found? I didn't have the time to decide, because before long, my train had arrived. I decided to bring the suitcase with me in case I was able to unlock it later in the day.

I boarded the red train. The aroma of coffee immediately filled the air. Coffee...that's what I needed. I needed some damn coffee. Lucky for me, they were giving out free sinkers today, or 'doughnuts' if you're a moron who just crawled out of your mother's vagina. I got myself one. Maybe two. Three? Alright, five it is.

Before I was able to sit down and enjoy them, a familiar face came running down the passenger car.

"Karkat! It's nice to sea you today!" The flour lover(4) approached my little table near the train's window. With all that makeup you'd think she was auditioning for the circus, or perhaps she was trying to turn herself into a cloud.

Feferi Peixes was her name. She was normally found inside the first-class car with the rest of her snobby friends. When she was boarding alone, she would instead spend her time in the lower-class cars for reasons beyond me. It was rare to see her in this section of the train ever since she got engaged to some bimbo(5) sailor guy. It would be wrong to accuse her of being a gold digger, especially since she was a lot more humble than her friend group may suggest.

"GOOD MORNING FEFERI. I DON'T SEE YOUR SPECIAL LITTLE TOY WITH YOU TODAY. WHAT GIVES?" I question her as I take a short sip from my cup of joe(6).

She blinked slowly at me.

"...OH! You mean Alexander! He's out to sea again. I'm planning on getting him a nice gift to come home to!" She giggled. If I didn't know any better I would of assumed Feferi herself was half seas over(7).

She sat down right across from me. The train jerked slightly as it prepared to depart from the station.

I doubt " Alexander" was even his real name. I've only seen him maybe once or twice before. He was a complete fossil of a man.I couldn't imagine getting wed to Father Time himself. "Alexander" had tanish skin with a few old scars tranced down his face and a scruffy beard. That guy is bland at best. He never came across to me as abusive nor necessary right for her.

I never considered bringing up my concerns. It is none of my damn business anyway. Besides, it would make me look jealous.

I dipped my powdered doughnut into the cup of joe, allowing it to soften without getting too soggy.

I was about to open my mouth to let a word out (or a sinker in, forgot which) when Feferi changed the topic.

"What's with that suitcase?"

She pointed at the case I had picked up before from the station. The multiple locks glowed from the rising sun right outside.

I lifted the box from it's comfortable spot on the seat next to me and brought it into better view.

"BEATS ME. I SAW SOME JOE BROOKS(8) DRAGGING IT AROUND THE STATION. HE JUST FUCKING LEFT IT THERE."

I take a moment to gently shake the suitcase, attempting to determine what's inside. The sound of the multiple locks is the only thing that could be heard.

"DO YOU THINK THERES CASH IN HERE? 1,000? 2,000? ITS GOTTA BE AT LEAST 30 KALE IN THIS BABY."

"Karkat!" She scolded at me.

Feferi reached over to yank the case away from me. I held it protectively against my chest. I thought about trying to hide it in my coat, but that would be way too obvious.

"Karkat you can't just take some random person's possessions like that! What if theres something reely important in there?"

She keeps herself from pulling at her own hair and instead chooses to focus her frustrations on the news paper next to her.

"I KNOW, DOLL, I KNOW. I WAS PLANNING ON TAKING IT TO LOST AND FOUND BUT I-I WAS IN A HURRY AND…"

I paused for a moment. That man I saw in the station...who was he?

I felt a soft warm hand perch onto my shoulder.

"I'm sorry I yelled at you. Look we'll figure this silly little mystery out, ok?"

She beamed brightly at me. God this "Alexander" fellow better be counting his blessings. He was really lucky to have her as a fiance. I was lucky in a similar sense to be her friend despite not having any of the whistles and bells that come prepackaged with everyone else in her inner circle.

"RIGHT...YES." I cleared my throat.

I hadn't realized until now that the train station was no longer in view. The Red Express was now on it's way to Washington. I got myself lost in the scenery. I see boring ass office buildings and sewers every single day. It was refreshing to see something new at least.

I glanced back over towards Feferi, noticing she had joined the activity. She started to point to random objects such as clouds and hills. It was like she made it some sort of childish nonsensical game for herself. I was considering playing along, but I didn't want to make myself look like a complete idiot.

Instead I read what was left of the news paper.

1 Dumb Dora: an absolute idiot (mostly used against women)

2 Dewdropper: A young lazy man with no job; likes to smooch off of other people.

3 Bluenose: A prude and/or snobby sophisticated person.

4 Flour Lover: A girl with an excessive amount of face powder.

5 Bimbo (in 1920s context): A Tough Guy

6 Cup of Joe: Cup of Coffee

7 Half seas over: To be drunk/wasted

8 Joe Brooks: A perfectly dressed person


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2: Chapter 1 but Eridan is talking now

 **August 8, 1925**

As if shit couldn't get any worse for me, I had to make a run for it. I was being followed closely by some torpedo(1)s. Taking some quick turns into an ally way, I was able to sneak past those buff buffoons. I watched as they stopped at the dead end I lead them to, wondering where I went. I observed from a crack in the wall from the other side. Fools. You can't get any good work these days, can you? I thought I was at least going to be challenged a little bit. Instead more of my precious time was wasted on dragging these loons around like lost children at the park. I must not waste anymore. I take myself back to the main sidewalk as if I wasn't being chased around earlier.

My lucky necklace watch was comfortable in my coat pocket. It was given to me by my own father on my 13th birthday. The watch was cased in copper and gold with the chain being as long as the length of my arm. The back of it had the Aquarius symbol carved into the metal. Nothing bad has happened to me while I had this watch at hand. Now it isn't the most scientific conclusion, yet I fail to be aware of any other reason.

The time was 6:45 am; just early enough for the milkman to make his way towards the neighborhoods down the street from the main city in his cute little car. I don't understand who would want to put that disgusting substance in their stomach. That liquid is only good for Joe and nothing more. Those men do have their work cut out for them at the very least.

The street was mostly barren as most typical folk would still be sleeping or having breakfast with their families. The rest of the city would be fully awake in a couple of minutes. A perfect opportunity to cross without worrying about some low life beeping at me.

I found myself going back and forth between home and the station every Saturday. It was one of the requirements in my job: Export and import important files, meet with the higher ups, strike deals, ect. Rinse and repeat every week and you got yourself a pretty good idea of what my life is like. Sounds dull, but it is rather exciting. The only thing I dislike is doing all the filing myself. I would much rather have an excuse to go from California to DC during the weekend than stay at some crummy old warehouse shredding documents.

Speaking of files, I have quite a few in this case I'm carrying. I took every lock I owned and forced it on this poor defenseless thing. If this were to land in the wrong hands I would be done for. Literally dead. Sleeping with the fishes. Pushing up daisies! No way in hell am I even going to let people look in my direction. If they come near me they will receive a well deserved slap in the face. I don't normally flash my gun out in public but I will if it is necessary.

I also have a...side job, which I rather not go into too much detail. Let's just say it requires a disguise other men would view as "tasteless"; I've grown quite fond of it personally. My coworkers are much nicer there than at my main workplace. They are also a lot prettier than the old cranky scarred veterans who wave around their masculinity like it's a badge of honor.

Enough about that tired subject. I instead take the time to admire the structure of the station. It is just as beautiful, if not more, as the last time I was in it. The train ride itself was usually a luxurious experience. I don't know, something about just simply wandering into the station filled me with joyous anticipation. It felt like a little kid skipping around in an amusement park waiting to get on their favorite ride.

Before I knew it, I was ready to aboard the train. I always rode in first class no matter what. There is no way you would convince me to ride with those low life poor folk. They are always coughing, wheezing, sneezing—ugh! I could vomit from the thought of it alone. It was unfair for me, a highly respected individual, to suffer such a ride. It is better to ride in style than not at all. I've grew up with that philosophy.

I couldn't help but feel like someone was watching me. I was already used to having eyes on me; either from what I usually wear or my…"night job", yet something felt very unsettling. Was I being stalked? Before I could turn around to see who had their eyes on me, some dewdropper stepped right on my wardrobe. The DISRESPECT. Like a drunken elephant balancing on an idiot wagon, I fell face first onto the train floor.

It was only after the train door finally closed that I realized my hand was void from any object. I desperately looked around. There wasn't a single sign of the suitcase anywhere. I caught a glimpse from the window. A chubby short man with a trench coat on ran off with the case and snuck onto a completely different train. Who does he work for? The government perhaps?

Ah shit. What am I supposed to do now? Not only is the suitcase with the files in it missing, but I lost it in the most moronic way possible! What am I going to tell my boss? "Oh sorry Boss, someone stepped on my robe and I tripped while a fatass ran off with the files." I realized though that I still had the keys to the locks right in my trouser pocket. Dumbass. Unless whatever organization he works for has a decent locksmith, there would be no way he would get that bloody thing open.

Whatever. Something tells me it won't be the last time I'll be seeing him. The train is scheduled to go from California to New York, but I would have to stop at Washington DC before getting onto another train. I decided it would be best to begin my search for this man there. My family owns a condo in DC anyway, which staying there would be cheaper than renting a hotel room.

If I am lucky, I will see him tonight.

Torpedo: A hired hitman


End file.
